Who Should Come to My Birth?

As with many things in life, there is not a cut and dry answer about how many support people a woman needs in labour. The birth of a child (to quote Call the Midwife) is an ordinary miracle – a sacred and uniquely personal event that happens every day, all around the world.

In planning for your birth, there are a lot of decisions to make, not least of which is who will accompany you and support you through labour, if anyone. What you need for support will vary according to your personality and how you have prepared for birth, where you labour and deliver, how long your labour lasts, whether you use pharmacological pain relief (like narcotics or an epidural), and past birth experiences.

The most important thing is not determining the right number of people, but creating the environment that will make you feel most comfortable. However many people you choose to have at your birth, they should be there for you, and keep in mind that there are many ways to support a labouring woman besides being present in the delivery room. Looking after older children or pets, preparing meals for the postpartum period, doing laundry or dishes or other chores can all give new parents the peace of mind they need to focus on the task at hand!

Whatever you decide, also give yourself permission to change your mind. If you invite over a house full of people to keep you company and provide distraction during early labour, and then you find that you just want to hide in the bathroom, that is your right. Your partner or doula can cover for you or explain your change of heart. And if you visualized your birth as a long slow dance with your partner only to realize you’d trade your right arm for some hot packs and serious counterpressure through contractions, you might like to have a phone number ready to call for more support just in case.

You know yourself best, and you are the only one who can give birth to this baby! However your ordinary miracle unfolds, having the right support for you will make it all the more magical.